Notes to help get more out of my meditations
With many of meditations we are trying to help you notice the differences within the self between health and dis-ease (within ourselves and also in our relationships with others). Thus, we will go through a process where we walk our minds/consciousness through the different elements of self to observe any differences (before detail) in their RELATIONSHIPS and then we simply describe these differences – and not interpret them (or allocate any particular interpretation or significance to them). If we go into intellectualising/interpreting mode, not only will we probably go into our heads and lose connection with the aspect of the exercise we are supposed to be feeling (and thus not feel it at all) but we will block any further flow of information (i.e. we get fixated on this interruption and feel like we are unable to keep up so to speak).
This is like stopping every time that we trip over an obstacle while on a walk with friends and then getting fixated upon it and perhaps why we tripped in the first place, why was the obstacle even there in the first place (how dare it interrupt my walk- meditation! etc), and what it could all possibly mean. Then before we know it, instead of simply acknowledging that we have tripped up (i.e. we have found a difference) and then moving on (around it), when we look up all our friends have moved on and we have to rush to catch up (which means we may now be in a panic and thus are feeling panic and our attention is now not the exercise itself).
All we are doing in these meditations initially is noticing the differences as we move from one aspect of exploration to another and perhaps to describe what we feel briefly (enough to acknowledge it at least and allow it to be there with no judgement). This allows us to experience ‘whatever it is’ to be it ‘as it is’, without any dialogue or fluctuations of the mind taking over or by our reactions to the experience, rather than simply the experience it ‘as it is’ – with no reactions to it (i.e. to respond, not react). Later on – having completed the full walk (or diagnostic element of the meditation), if there is anything along the way we need to go into to explore in a little more detail, then we can go back and have a closer look at it, without losing context of the whole, and observe how it ‘REACTS or RESPONDS’ when we allow healing energies to flow back into it, during the healing phase of the exercise.
Thus, my visualisation exercises have both a 1) ‘diagnostic’ element in that they allow us to notice differences before we go into details and also a 2) healing aspect in that – later on once we have a holistic overview of the situation and know what is healthy and what is not, we can bring the healthy healing energies within our selves to flow back into any difficult areas and then allow the healthy and unhealthy aspects of ourselves to sort out any differences and express healthier relationships. Health takes control rather than the dis-ease of our ego’s (which has to lose it’s control in order for our healthy selves to gain it) and as we learn to trust and allow this process, we will get healthier.
The trick with any meditation designed to explore relationships is we have to go fast enough through the process for you to not get locked into (i.e. reactive to) any particular level, state or experience but slow enough to notice and describe briefly any differences in relationship (if present) that occur – in symmetry, texture and motion (flow). The intellect (and ego attached to this) loves to react with a dialogue around the experience (to perhaps speculate its meaning, justify or deny what happened) and then goes into over analytical mode before it has even acknowledged (the dimensions of) a difference in the first place – i.e. it skips the step of acknowledging the difference and describing it “as it is” and then moving on with no reaction to it (or dialogue around it) – or at least holding any reactions in check until we have an overall detached loving overview of the entire situation (i.e. can observe health, disease and how these areas are relating or rather not relating to one another).
These reactions and dialogues around an experience are called modifications/fluctuations of the thinking principle (the mind) and are are effectively what slows us down and makes us feel like we can’t keep up with the exercise. Remember, just because we notice something is not right (or even a nice feeling that we get lost in for that matter), that doesn’t mean we have to do anything about it right now. The ego often wants us to immediately fix things with no context or understanding of why the issue is there in the first place (i.e. is symptomatic and although it may think it knows why via faulty interpretations, it doesn’t really want to know the real reason why? it just wants to be pampered or for its issues to be cleared). So – we notice, then describe any differences we experience (like an artist trying to find the right colours to express his picture) and then move on the next part of the exercise, comparing experiences as we go. The goal is to identify the greatest areas (or areas) of imbalanced relationship as well as the greatest areas of health before we go back in and explore the relationship balancing (interaction) that occurs in the healing phase of the meditation. Bringing health into contact with the issues will then drive any details (held in the dysfunctional areas) up – as it clears and thus helps us identify the issues we are letting go (i.e. as we acknowledge and allow them to come up). If the relationships between all explored elements of the exercise feels balanced and ‘as one’ then this may indicate all the elements of self explored are actually functioning in sync (provided we are feeling them and not just thinking we are). Thus it’s during the healing phase of the exercise that we can come back into the areas of conflict and start to appreciate the details of any particular holding pattern – but – without losing the context of the whole as we do so (thus not making the mistake of getting attached within the issue and reactive to the part that is providing healing once again). We have to let it all come up to the consciousness and out for us to acknowledge and then release our issues, something we can’t do if we try to understand it before it has come up. This allows the healing process to occur such that we the problems can respond to the healing energies and not react to and thus resist them. By not being attached to our reactions we can simply allow the healing to take place and come back to a point of balanced relationship.
You will realise eventually, once these reactions cease, that ‘tuning in’ is really as easy as thinking it and feeling it and it happens increasingly more quickly (and eventually instantaneously) as we gradually let go of our expectations, faulty belief systems, interpretations and other reactive defence mechanisms and allow more of the the truth (i.e. health) to reveal itself as it actually is.
In this state we may not fully understand the meaning and significance of the experience (which usually comes later on as a realisation) but at least we allow ourselves the opportunity to experience it. The intellect and ego wants it the other way around. I.e.. it wants the answer before its allowed itself the opportunity of the experience. It wont allow itself to step outside of know bounds until it has the full explanation presented to it. Yet it cant possibly understand the experience unless it actually allows itself to explore it (i.e. FEEL IT). We can’t see what is in a room for example (and speculating all we want will makes no difference here) if we never open the door and have a look for ourselves. If nothing is there to see then there is nothing lost in the looking. But if there is – once we allow this experience – all we need to do is simply find the right words to express it (i.e. the words fit the meaning and not the other way around). It does not need interpretation because the experience (and its description when we express it adequately) can speak for itself. This is freeing because we don’t have to make our experiences fit any preconceived notion, belief or expectation and thus we let go of all these attachments and simply enjoy the experience (or life) as it actually is is in this moment.
How then do we allow ourselves to open up? Well. We simply explore relationships and notice the difference between them (i.e. feel the responses in symmetry, texture and motion) as we move our consciousness from one state to another. It’s safe because we are simply asking a question and feeling (connecting with) a response. We don’t have to do anything with an experiences unless we feel like we have all the information we need to successfully understand and resolve the issue safely. Until then we simply gather information until a realisation of the whole picture emerges. As we realise a little more about our REAL SELF, this frees us and allows us to let go of a little more of the NOT SELF and be more of who we really are (i.e. our natural lovingly detached healthy selves) and overflow this onto others.
Therefore, with most of my meditations (relationship meditations) we are not meditating purely on one state alone (which is a different exercise; i.e. an object or specific state focused type of meditation) and so there is no need to hang around too long at each individual level of it. I go as fast as I need to adequately express what I am feeling for the group as a whole; long enough to get the ball rolling so to speak and describe as best I can what I am feeling for any individual group. I will not hang around unless I feel I need to for something to be fully acknowledged and once it is I will move on when the tide moves on (and possibly come back to it if it has more to express in relation to other areas explored in the meditation – when it is appropriate to do so to keep the overall context and flow happening). Thus, speed is dictated by the group experiences, and does not occur at set predetermined pace. This is why I suggest possibilities and options and constantly remind people that they can adapt the experiences and time needed to each individual situation. Thus, If you feel I am going to fast, it might just be that you are trying to hard or are over intellectualising or in expectation about what you want to feel or on what you should be experiencing – and not simply going along for the ride with no expectation and then noticing changes in the scenery. The idea is to feel things as they are and not as we expect them to be. Alternatively – if you do need more time I suggest keep part of your awareness on the areas you need to explore a little longer while the other part flows around the obstruction (thus identifying its size and scope at least) and continues on like a scout, if you will, just to make sure there are not other elements of the big picture which need also to be included into the overall exercise. Areas of health you will move through quickly because they provide no obstruction to the thought or idea of moving through them but areas of difficulty you will notice you get snagged or stuck – telling us something is interrupting the flow (and you don’t need to work out what it is yet – just to notice it). So, flow around difficulties like a river around a rock, note them and their size etc and keep going being mindful that you can always keep part aware on it or come back to it as needed in relation to other facts which emerge in any particular meditation exercise.
I hope all this is making some sense (it does usually once its felt)?
I will use an analogy to express this idea.
If, for example, I place 7 glasses of water in front of you (which for all intensive purposes may look the same but feel quite different, when actually felt), each of a different temperature, and then ask you to quickly place your finger in each glass of water and move quickly from one glass to another and describe the differences, you do not need to hold your finger in one glass for a long period of time to tell the temperature. It is instantaneous. Hanging around for longer will not necessarily give you any extra useful information unless you are analysing other properties in the water itself (which is not the object of this relationship exercise). However, as soon as you dip your finger in the next glass, a difference in temperature is immediately apparent as well as how much of a difference also. This provides greater context and clarifies our experiences (through understanding their relationships). Thus, you dip your finger in and notice how it feels and then move to the next glass, moving quickly from one to another and perhaps back again (which you are always allowed to do). Having scanned all seven glasses and felt the differences between all of them, only then can you make any appreciation about their relationships and perhaps with ones felt more ideal for you and which were not to your liking perhaps. Then, in the healing phase perhaps pour them all into one big glass so they can come to a holistic more balanced harmonious relationship (because healing is about unifying and bringing all elements in to balanced relationship and not keeping the water in each glass separate – is it not?)
This is what we are doing in our exercises.. How do we know what’s healthy? The answer is, we feel it and compare it with a ideal of 100% health.
What’s healthy will feel easy, balanced and functions in harmonious relationship with the whole (i.e. ONE). What is Dis-eased are those areas which feel most out of alignment with health; that are un-easy, dys-functional and im-balanced (i.e. most separate and conflicted in its relationships with other areas and the whole to which it belongs). This is the simple truth of it ! But it is not simple if we do not pay any attention to the health within ourselves or in relation to others. Nor is it easy to grasp if we do not think about what health and healthy relationships actually mean in the first place.
Paul Turner.
